but on a wednesday in a cafe i watched it begin again
by crazyaboutthem
Summary: "And today, this fine Wednesday afternoon he has proved her wrong. Today she's starting to see it all begin again." - AU, based on the song 'Begin Again' by Taylor Swift.


**A/N: I don't own anything. If I did, Finchel would be together and happy and in love in NYC with Kurt and that stupid train station scene would have never happened.**

She's nervous. She's standing in front of her mirror deciding which dress she should wear and she's nervous. It has been eight months you know? And it's not like she hasn't forgotten all about Jesse already, but it still hurts. He hurt her pretty badly. She looks at the heels Santana, Quinn and Kurt picked out for her and she thinks about Jesse even more. He hated those heels. She's always love those heels but he told her she looked like a slut when she wore them, so she stopped wearing them a long time ago. There's a bang on her door.

"I swear to God Berry, if you don't come out in the next five minutes I'm coming in and pushing the dress I picked out into you", Santana yells.

"You can come in San", she says in a small voice.

Santana comes in along with Quinn and Kurt. They're all here for moral and fashion support. Quinn looks at her and she knows what she's thinking about.

"He hated those heels", Rachel says, almost in a whisper.

They all sigh. "Rach, it's been eight months. Come one. It's time", Quinn says.

"I know", she answers. "I know. It's not like I still love him. It's just… What if he's just like him? What if I'm not what he's looking for?" she says, worried.

"He asked you out", Kurt tells her. "I'm sure he likes you"

"Not everyone is a complete douche bag like Jesse, Berry", Santana says. "We've been through this before. Now come one. Get dressed or you'll be late"

Rachel sighs. She knows they're right. She takes a deep breath and looks at the heels again. She loves them. And if Kurt, Quinn _and_ Santana all agreed she should wear them it must be a sign. They can't even agree on dinner, whether it's Chinese or Thai or sushi. She smiles, puts on the dress and the heels. She looks at herself in the mirror and looks actually great. Quinn applies a little make up on her, because she likes to look natural and Santana and Kurt do _not_ understand what that means, while Santana curls her her at the bottom. She takes deep breaths the whole time. She's ready. It's time.

:.:.:.:

As she walks into her car she puts her headphones on and "I Have a Dream" by Amanda Seyfried of the Mamma Mia! the movie soundtrack starts playing in her iPod. Once again she's reminded of Jesse and how he hated this song. Or actually he just didn't understand it. That's how he put it. Of course she understands it better than anyone. She has a dream. She has a song to sing. Actually she's accomplished that dream already. She's currently in rehearsals for the new production of Les Miserables as Eponine, her dream role. And this dream, this song has always helped her get through anything and everything. And that's why Sophie in Mamma Mia! is another one of her dream roles.

Again she has to remind herself that Jesse's gone. He doesn't matter any more. 'It's his loss' Quinn would always say. And Rachel's _just _starting to believe Quinn. Obviously it's not her loss. Jesse was a terrible boyfriend and an even more awful person. So, it is his loss, she says to herself. And she's not going to waste any more time thinking about him. He doesn't deserve it, and she certainly doesn't either. That's what she tells herself, and she actually tries.

:.:.:.:

Next thing she knows she's at the café they agreed to meet and she's, as always, incredibly punctual. They agreed to meet at five o'clock. She looks at her watch. Four fifty-nine. She smiles, proud of herself. She walks into the café looking for an empty seat, because she expects him to be late. He's _always_ late to work. At least that's what Sam (he works with him at the fire station) told Quinn who told her.

But she's incredibly surprised (and pleasantly of course) to see him sitting at a table at the back of the café waving at her. She smiles and walks to him. He stands up, helps her into her chair and then he sits down. He probably doesn't even know how incredibly nice that feels for her. She doesn't remember the last time a man was this chivalrous to her. She blushes and smiles.

They order their coffee and start talking animatedly. They talk about everything and anything at the same time, and it feels so comfortable and nice and _right_.

She's telling him about her audition for Les Mis' which was absolutely horrible.

"What do you mean it was horrible? You got the part didn't you? So it can't have been that awful", he says, and she actually feels kind of guilty talking about her job when she hasn't asked about his, but he seems actually interested, so she answers.

"Well, for starters, the piano guy skipped an entire verse, so I stopped singing and told him we should start over. Then, I was acting an extremely dramatic scene and the director and producers just kept laughing, so I told him that it was a dramatic scene. That I was going to do it again and they would all cry this time. Then the producers wanted to know how I was regarding improvisation so they told me a situation and I should act it with the director. The situation was an argument with my boyfriend so I slapped him", she says.

"What? You slapped your director?" he asks dumbfounded.

"Yeah. It just came out", she says, shrugging her shoulder.

He throws his head back laughing and the sound of his laugh mixed with the look on his face makes her laugh too. He looks like a little kid who's just been told the greatest joke on Earth.

"You're hilarious", he says, still laughing. She feels a light pang in her heart and she knows why. _He_ never thought she was funny. Though she must admit that the pang is certainly lighter than it has been for the last eight months. And it's such a relief. Because she has spent these last eight months thinking that love was such a load of crap, as Santana would put it. That all it ever does it break you, and burn you and in the end it ends you (she knows she's dramatic okay?). And today, this fine Wednesday afternoon he has proved her wrong. Today she's starting to see it all begin again.

:.:.:.:

After talking about their jobs, his as a firefighter and hers as a young ingénue, they talk about things they have in common. And to her surprise he's really passionate about music. He plays the drums and his favorite band is Journey. She has never been much of a rock fan, but Journey has something. Maybe it's the fact that it's all her Daddy used to listen to when she was a little kid, but she loves Journey.

"I swear, I don't think anyone has as many records of Journey as I do", he says smiling.

She smiles. She has every single Journey record existent. "I do", she says.

"What? You like Journey", he asks, obviously surprised.

"I admit I'm not much of a rock fan, but I've always loved Journey. And I have every single record. On vinyl of course", she adds. She's always preferred vinyl records to CDs. They're so much more classical. And she's a sucker for vintage and classical things.

"Well, I must say I'm impressed Ms. Berry", he says.

She giggles. "Oh, I bet you are", she answers beaming at him.

He smiles back and grabs her hand over the table. She looks at their hands, blushes and looks down, but she doesn't take her hand away.

:.:.:.:

They start sharing stories; about their childhood, about Sam, about their jobs, about their families, about everything. She's much more reserved than he is, and she knows she's coming off a little shy and reserved, and she knows he can tell. He keeps sending these strange looks at her every time she looks down or blushes. She also knows why she's coming off shy. She's plain scared. She really likes Finn, _really likes him_, but she can't stop thinking about what Jesse did to her. And it's not even about Jesse himself; she's just scared that she's going to end up hurt again.

But again she says something he thinks it's funny and he does the same thing again. He throws his head back laughing, and he still looks like a little kid. It still feels strange, but because of that she's reminded that he's not a douche bag. He's actually a really nice guy. He asked her out. He's interested in her, she can tell. He likes her. And she likes him. So maybe she'll just say 'what the hell?' and open up to him. Maybe.

:.:.:.:

After their date, he walks her to her car, which is parked down the block from the café. They start walking in silence, and she thinks maybe she should let him know why she's been reserved the whole date. Maybe she should tell him it's not about him but another idiot who broke her heart by always bringing her down and then dumping her when she got her first part on a Broadway show, when she succeeded in something and he didn't. She's about to bring him up but he starts taking.

"You know what else I love?" he says.

Her breath hitches a bit, because he's not going to say he loves her right? They've been on one date. "What?" she says her voice a little higher than usual.

"Christmas", he says smiling and she lets out a breath of relief without him noticing. (She kind of wants to slap herself too. She needs to stop jumping into conclusions that quickly). "Yeah, it's just awesome", he continues as they keep walking. "Every year me and my mom make some hot chocolate with marshmallows and pop in Christmas movies. It's always the same movies. 'The Grinch', 'A Christmas Carol', 'Home Alone', one, because the others are really bad. And she always makes me watch one which is actually a bunch of love stories combined at Christmas but I always forget the name", he says as he frowns trying to remember.

"Love Actually?" she asks. She loves that film.

His face lights up. "Yeah, that one!" he says and grins.

He keeps talking about Christmas movies, and presents and she's smiling, and she finds that she doesn't want to talk about why she's been shy, or how difficult these past eight months have been. She wants to talk about Christmas, and movies, and presents, and hot chocolate with marshmallows. And she finally understands what Kurt and Quinn and Santana have been telling her. 'What's past is past'. And her heartbreak is past. It's all in the past. In another page of the book. She's moved on, and today, as they reach her car and he kisses her, and smiles, and they schedule another date for tomorrow night, she knows another page has begun. And she's no longer nervous. She's really excited to start writing this new page with Finn.

**A/N: So hope you liked it! I'm not sure how I am reagrding songfics. Please read and reaview, but most importantly I hope you have enjoyed :):)**


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